In thinking about what my answer might be, I discovered a few things about myself. Of course I have used the term "Too Gay," many times but not for the reasons one might think. I've never ever used that term in a sexual way as to describe someone who loved penis, or in a gay woman's case, vagina too much. I, as well as my circle of friends use the term to describe someone who is extreme in any particular way such as dress or mannerisms. For instance if we see a very effeminate man who is flitting about with decadent clothing and bleached blonde hair, we may say, "Lord he's way too gay," or if we see a woman who dresses like a man and wears short buzzed cut hair, mens boots and has a man's wallet in her back pocket, we may say, "Man she's too gay."
But as I write this however, I realize that this is nothing but discrimination within our own backyard. Being a gay man that was teased and bullied in high school because I was different, I live my life today always trying to slip in with "normal" america, whatever that may be. When I was bullied, I did all I could to stay under the radar to preserve whatever pride and sanity I still had and that's how my adulthood has progressed.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a successful businessman with many years of corporate america under my belt and live an openly gay and pretty damn good life now, but in my day, I dressed like everyone in my office and followed the same protocol that is almost required in corporate america blending in as well as I could. So when I see someone who is out there doing and acting outside of the norm, I always cringe.
While writing this blog response, however, I asked myself why I cringe and I came up with the short immediate answer. This person may just want or need to gather the attention that goes with acting or dressing in a bazar manner. Maybe someone that was neglected as a child or someone who didn't get the support needed in the developmental years and needs attention in any way shape or form to get by. Note I'm not a psychologist but I have been a study of human beings, both gay and straight for many years and this somehow easily fits the bill. But as I wrote and thought, I realized that maybe these people really are different and don't mind being so. I now realize that being yourself when you are different is probably way harder than fitting in and a light bulb went off in his old man's head. I realize that no matter what the excuse or reason, people have a right to live how they please, without fear of rejection as long as they are not hurting anyone else. And they can do it for whatever reasons they want and no one should question them or "cringe" just because they are different.
Discrimination runs in all of us at one level or another, and I now see that I was doing something that was done to me. We are a product of our raising and do what we need to get by. What a lesson I have learned.
Check out the original question and Tom's response HERE
Jason's response HERE
Matthew D. Response HERE
Zathyn's Response HERE