Wednesday, April 18, 2012

How gay is too gay? Matthew D.


Yes, for me, gay is too gay. Period.

For a nanosecond, let us set the word “gay” aside because not all male/male oriented guys identify themselves as “gay” and in fact there is demographic evidence to suggest that the term is growing in unpopularity among young men and men my age who see the label as a straightjacket (pun intended).

My thesis is that gay is too limiting a term to the point that it is actually impeding the progress of human rights.

There are men who are attracted to the sheer manliness of other men and do not want a chick with a dick, but they perceive “gay” as chicks with dicks. Bristle over that, but the evidence is there whether anyone agrees with it or not. Ironically, these masculine male/male oriented men are automatically labeled “gay” because the gay community sees “same gender oriented” as somehow offensive.

They need to get the hell beyond themselves and be more tolerant and inclusive.

There is evidence to suggest that the women’s rights movement did two things: (1) made women equal and (2) undefined men and it is only now that men of all sexual persuasions are redefining what it means to be a man. Straight men are emoting more, becoming more fashion and culture conscious, and enjoying their masculinity. Gay men are learning they do not have to be the campy poodles clutching fag hags. Bisexuals are learning it is OK not to choose. Yeah, yeah…chant “I hate Matt Darringer!” all you want and plan to burn me at the stake, but I speak a truth.

“Gay” also brings with it an implied political orientation: Democrat, but there are many same-gendered men who are Republican, not because they are intolerant, Christian-right bigots, but instead prefer Republican political values over Democrats’ values. Many in the gay community are blisteringly intolerant of anyone who is Republican and that is counterintuitive. NEITHER party has done squat for LGBT rights, so instead of being poodles to the Democrats, gays should be infiltrating both parties simultaneously.

There are same-gender oriented guys who see Pride as reinforcing dangerous stereotypes and want no part of it. There are those who see the duct tape NOH8 as dubious at best given that the gay voice is NOT being stifled. There are those who understand that getting gay marriage to be law is being impeded by militant, histrionic people instead of putting all that energy and money into a media campaign about the utter normalcy of same-gender life.

Same-gender people are mothers, fathers, teachers, nurses, doctors, lawyers, fire fighters, police, and so on, but the gay agenda does not allow for that portrayal. Instead the gay political agenda has chosen to purport they are victimized and excluded. While there is some truth there, whining about one’s victimization does not bring strength. It brings stasis and dysfunction.

As a bisexual man, I have been shunned by gay men who accuse me of being afraid to come out of the closet and admit my gayness. Look up Kinsey is all I have to say. Bisexual, not straight or gay, is the norm for human beings and especially for men.

Thus gay is too gay for me. It is time to move away from Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender (LGBT) which kicks straight people out of the “in” crowd and move toward Bi/Opposite/Same/Trans Gender (BOST) which puts all people into the club together.

                                                                              Matthew Darringer

MatthewDarringerWrites

Check out the original post, questions and TOM'S response HERE and Jason's response HERE

10 comments:

  1. Funny, I dont think anyone's been burned at the stake for awhile now. LOL

    Although you do raise a valid point. From myy experience I have seen a lot of people use their "gay" status as a offensive weapon. The throw it in everyone's face as though it makes them special. This is not the case, you are still a garden variety of human.

    Shouting it to the rafters and forcing it onto everyone is not the way to have others accept you. Work with them and let them see you are no different than others and more tolerance would be given.

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  2. As always I enjoy being a bit provocative.
    Matt Darringer

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  3. Wow Matthew, I've heard your name being thrown around in a few chat rooms for M/M Romance writers, and not in a good way I might add, and I was all ready and prepared to hate you. But damn if you don't make a hell of a lot of sense and some damn good points. Your take on this topic is definetly food for thought. Well done!

    Scotty

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    1. Thanks Scotty. People who blast me without getting to know me are just shallow people. People who get to know me tend to like me a lot.
      Matt Darringer

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  4. Love the BOST!! Great post! Thanks for sharing

    Edward

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    1. To leave straight people out of the human rights solution is idiocy in my opinion.
      Matt Darringer

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  5. To gay is when you think your rights supercede the rights of others. When you think acquiring freedoms makes you single minded, cruel and bigoted. I have been lucky and not run into many, but there are days when a rant or 2 come across my facebook that I wonder 'do they read what they write before they hit post?' Do they know what a bigot they sound like when they rail against straights, bi's, republicans, independent thinkers and you talk about fat pastey white guy with bad breath? When your judgements are to injury another party because they injured you all you have done is join them. You have become the same ignorant, intolerant bigoted asshole that you are complaining about. That is when 'gay' becomes too gay for me.

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    1. Brilliant perspective. There are people who believe they are "tolerant" but they are only tolerant if you agree with their perspective. Tolerance literally means accepting all perspectives whether one agrees or not. THUS, a tolerant, pro-gay marriage person would have ZERO issues with Christians who oppose them. THAT is tolerance, but that also requires people NOT to demonize people they disagree with. Scotty Cade's comments about the trashing that goes on of me in chat rooms is a prime example of not tolerating a different perspective. I WANT TO THANK SJD FOR LETTING ME HAVE A MOMENT HERE. Perhaps a few people will come chat with me. They will definitely find me engaging. :)
      Matt Darringer

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    2. It was my pleasure, Thanks for allowing me to feature your words. Oh, and I for one can vouch for how engaging you can be :)

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    3. I owe you a martini for that comment.
      Matt Darringer

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